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Could Garfield handle this meal?
After all the eating I did over the holidays I hardly dare think about food. Nevertheless, I was struck by the cat food ad spotted by Jenifer Morgan. “Asia Fusion” grub for a feline is unusual enough...
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A real robbin' hood
I caught a report on the Channel 2 news about a guy who robbed a local Baskin-Robbins but left the tip jar alone. He explained that he did so because he thought the workers were doing a good job....
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Drinking it up in Long Beach
A waitress in the Long Beach Renaissance Hotel asked a couple of friends of mine if they’d like to order some “Natura” water.What’s that? they asked.She explained it comes in three varieties,...
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Name that town_if you dare
Attention, off-season vacationers:If you’re looking for a destination with an enchanting name, you have your choice of such spots as Crapstone, Penistone, Titty Ho, Spanker Lane and Crotch Crescent in...
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The case of the guerrilla housekeepers
Tracy Hartley rushed out on an errand, leaving her front door unlocked. Some minutes later, her daughter arrived at Hartley’s house and phoned her to ask, “Who are all these people in our house?” They...
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A bouncing baby...knee?
We all know how the health care system has reached the point where insurance companies practically station representatives in the operating room to make decisions. So I shouldn’t be surprised about the...
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Letter imperfect
At the birthday party of a high school chum, I was introduced to another grad from my school, Hamilton High. When the grad heard my name she said, ``Steve Harvey. Didn't you play baseball?" I was...
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Carrying on about carry-on
These airport security rituals can be embarrassing. After I’d gone through the x–ray procedure at San Jose's airport the other day, a guard informed me, "You have a cylinder in your bag."I nodded. He...
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To live and drive in L.A.
Hey, even drive-thrus have limitations --- though you'd never guess it by looking at the boarded-up portion of an Angel Food restaurant in Long Beach. The intruder in this case was after the ATM inside...
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Take me home from the ballgame -- now!
The local Metro folks certainly are aware of the migratory habits of Dodger fans. A notice about the Dodger Stadium express, a bus that runs between Union Station and the ballpark on the day of games,...
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Paper or plastic? Boy or girl?
Barbara Joan Grubman of Woodland Hills saw a sign in a Ralphs market that said: "Pregnancy tests can now be gotten at the check-out stand." Wonders Grubman: "Hmm, would that be the checker or the box...
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How desperate is job market?
David Batterson noticed that one company openly admitted it would mistreat the poor soul that it hired for an intern position. ***Talk about a bargainIn this economy, most everyone has to spend...
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The new math: Thanksgiving Day times seven
We received a recorded phone message from my son's high school, reminding us that (because of budget cutbacks), he'd have an entire week of vacation for Thanksgiving, not the customary two days. I...
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The Ultimate Sig-Alert
In the new movie, "Battle: Los Angeles," a soldier with a besieged group of folks is told by a superior: "Get them off the goddamn freeway." Yes, the Angelenos were suffering the ultimate...
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The Bottom Ten
A parody of Top Ten football polls by Steve Harvey(Updated every 30 seconds, except on some Tuesdays)The CollegesWith all its suspensions, Miami (Fla.) may soon announce that it's switching to 6-man...
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Start, thieves!
With budgetary woes what they are, you'd think that public agencies would be careful about guarding their property. But writer Jay Berman found a different attitude in Manhattan Beach.****** Good...
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The Bottom Ten: A Division of Bottom Ten International
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2011Loading...By Steve Harvey0 people like this. Be the first of your friends."Severe formatting problems"---Dissatisfied reader."I don't get any of the jokes"---Mrs. Harvey."Who...
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Strange but True Tales of Football, 2011
The Colleges---It wasn't Astro-Turf: LSU suspended three players for smoking synthetic grass.---Maybe they should have radioed the Air Force for assistance: Army, apparently using a 19th century...
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Toughest Parking Spot in Town
By Steve HarveySo something smelled about the astounding $2.15 billion purchase price of the Dodgers, not to mention the never-ending involvement of Frank McCourt? Well, the team is apparently trying...
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The Bottom Ten: Brought to you by Yeah, Who? Sports
By Steve Harvey7,234 hours agoThe CollegesStill bitter over being edged out for the Bottom Ten title last year, Akron's Zips erupted with a vengeance in their opener, falling completely apart in a...
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The Bottom Ten, or the Power of Negative Thinking
By Steve HarveyLoading...Unloading...Doesn't anyone want to savor the thrill of being No. 1 in the Bottom Ten? First, New Mexico, last year's champ, triumphs in its 2012 opener. Then, its successor,...
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Bottom Ten (a division of Bottom Ten Int.)
By Steve HarveyAsst. Bottom Ten EditorPage refreshes every two yearsSure, Massachusetts (0-3) seems disoriented--and why shouldn't it? Ever since the East Coast school moved to the corn fields of the...
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Only in LA: Bewitching time
By Steve HarveyHalloween won't be a special day for the Museum of Death in Hollywood."We do Halloween every day of the year," explained owner J.D. Healy, referring to his collection of gory crime and...
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Only in L.A.: No parking none of the time
By Steve HarveySo, Assemblyman Mike Gatto has introduced a bill to prohibit cities from ticketing cars at broken parking meters, as heartless L.A. does. The Gatto bill is a good start but next we need...
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long beach photos
Hi Harry, Now that I'm feeling better and can concentrate for more than 5 seconds at a time, I've finished your book. I enjoyed it. Good variety of columns; you've really given a human face to the...
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